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Dying to Teach: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Learning by Jeffrey Berman

By Jeffrey Berman

Affirms the facility of writing to memorialize loss and paintings via grief.

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Extra info for Dying to Teach: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Learning

Sample text

Every morning and evening she practiced mindfulness meditation, which, as defined by Sharon Salzberg and Jon Kabat-Zinn, is “simply learning to have an open accepting attitude toward whatever arises in one’s mind, while watching the movements of the mind. This very simplicity makes it useful as a stress-reducing technique” (107). She also practiced “visualization,” a technique in which she tried to mobilize her Barbara’s Cancer Diary 29 immune system. She spent several minutes of each day visualizing white blood cells destroying cancer cells or, alternatively, visualizing serene images such as waterfalls.

Went to work about 11:30. Very fatigued & nauseated. Took a Promethazine, which helped nausea. Home about 2:30—after meditation and nap had intense itching on my legs. ” The first CT scan during the vaccine treatment, in December 2002, indicated relatively good results: one of the liver tumors increased only slightly, while the other tumors remained the same size. Barbara and I were disappointed because we were hoping for a miracle—remission—but Fred and Glenn nevertheless were encouraged. From the beginning of Barbara’s diagnosis, and until near the end of her life, the detectable cancer was confined to her liver.

Woke up feeling optimistic but then the fear creeps in—feeling well. ” Barbara’s body responded immediately to the first set of sixteen injections and to all subsequent injections. This was encouraging because it indicated a strong immunological response. She received the second series of injections on November 15, this time on her thighs, and the November 18 entry summarizes how she felt. “By Friday night thighs became very hot & inflamed. Then by Saturday it was painful to walk. Spent the day lying down.

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