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Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in by Joan Halifax

By Joan Halifax

The Buddhist method of dying should be of serious gain to humans of all backgrounds—as has been validated again and again in Joan Halifax’s many years of labor with the loss of life and their caregivers. encouraged by way of conventional Buddhist teachings, her paintings is a resource of knowledge for all those who find themselves charged with a demise person’s care, dealing with their very own dying, or wishing to discover and reflect on the transformative strength of the death procedure. Her teachings verify that we will open and get in touch with our internal energy, and that we will be able to aid others who suffer to do a similar.

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Extra resources for Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death

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Still others report no gender differences (Kaffman & Elizur, 1983). These inconsistent findings may be explained in part by the importance of a gender match between the child and the parent who has died. , 1982). However, other studies have found no effects, or only modest effects, of a gender match on bereaved children’s adjustment (Worden, 1996). , 1990; Krupnick, 1984; Parkes, 1972/1986; Worden, 1996). , 1991; Worden, 1996). Some have included deaths by homicide and suicide, as well (Worden, 1996).

In summary, the responses of children followed in prospective studies showed that there is indeed a great deal of complexity in responses. First, it is not the parent’s death alone but the type of care the children receive before and after the death that is a significant factor in the outcome. Added to that are other factors, ranging from the surviving parent’s depression and loss of family income, the child’s perception of open communication, and a second marriage that the child cannot accept. Findings from both retrospective and prospective studies suggest that bereaved children’s eventual adjustment is affected not only by external factors—the most important of which may well be the surviv- Childhood Bereavement Studies 21 ing parent’s ability to support the child’s coping efforts—but also the changes that take place within the children over time as they experience and re-experience grief and mature in various domains (Edelman, 1994; Harris, 1991; Silverman, 1986; Silverman, 1989; Worden, 1996).

However, support from the extended family and the community may be more available to bereaved children than to children of divorce. Perhaps most important is the predominant stress in each situation and the most prevalent reaction of children facing the situation. In divorce, the unique stress is divided loyalties; in parental death, it is the death; in trauma, it is the shock and the threat. In divorce, the primary affective responses are anger, guilt, and sadness. In parental death, the primary responses are grief and apprehension.

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